it's been a long time since the last time i posted. it has been hard to write since julia's passing, each day that i put if off made it that much harder. for a long while, and even still at times, i couldn't think about having an eating disorder or food or be introspective in any way without going back to her. back to little julia. i hope in time i will be able to explain her beauty and do it justice.
it's been a year since i started this blog. it's weird how time passes. when i got my one year follow up survey from renfrew i couldn't open it. i never did. i just knew that it was the wrong thing at the wrong time. what it comes down to is this ... it's hard for me to look at how much has changed and even harder to look at what hasn't.
i've obviously grown and changed and learned much about myself and life, but i have also found my self walking in circle, thinking in circles and even trying to justify those circles.
i want to push through this.
i need to find peace.
i need to find peace.
