it's been a long time since the last time i posted. it has been hard to write since julia's passing, each day that i put if off made it that much harder. for a long while, and even still at times, i couldn't think about having an eating disorder or food or be introspective in any way without going back to her. back to little julia. i hope in time i will be able to explain her beauty and do it justice.
it's been a year since i started this blog. it's weird how time passes. when i got my one year follow up survey from renfrew i couldn't open it. i never did. i just knew that it was the wrong thing at the wrong time. what it comes down to is this ... it's hard for me to look at how much has changed and even harder to look at what hasn't.
i've obviously grown and changed and learned much about myself and life, but i have also found my self walking in circle, thinking in circles and even trying to justify those circles.
i want to push through this.
i need to find peace.
i need to find peace.
2 comments:
i believe you will push through this and find peace
sending you lots of love my dear keep fighting.
i know for me, i stopped writing and blogging after J passed :(
i pretty much stopped. i just was numb ever since the beginning of july..
i too can not explain to anyone the extent to how beautiful our angel is! she was just tooo wonderful of a girl.
i also have such a hard time looking back and seeing what has changed and how much has not. its so hard to be honest with myself and confront that my life is going in circles with ed.
i BELIEVE in you and i believe u will find peace, you are stronger than u know!
love you
xo
maya
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